I found the secret to personal success.
How do you define success?
The definition that works for me is from Maya Angelou. She said “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and how you do it.”
So how do we become successful at something? By exercising self control on a regular basis we will become stronger, happier, and more successful. This is verified with scientific data in the recently released book “The Marshmallow Test, Mastering Self Control” by Walter Mischel.
The object of the study was the self control of preschool aged children. The children were put in a room alone with a single marshmallow. They were told that if they did not eat the marshmallow until the instructor returned, approximately 15 minutes, then they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow. So the question was…eat one marshmallow now or two marshmallows later?
They followed these same children through the years and what they found was amazing!
Children who were able to wait for the second marshmallow had better academics, more fulfilling careers, more money, were happy and healthier later in life.
Children who were unable to wait, or had a lack of self control, were more likely to battle addiction, obesity, and possible jail time.
The studies showed that people who link their own behavior to how hard they tried, how long they persisted, and how successful they were see themselves AS the positive outcome. The satisfaction of delaying gratification, controlling our impulses, and meeting our goals becomes our reward and our success.
Self control is mandatory in the completion of long term goals and caring relationships.
We must train our brains to think of later, not now. We have to believe in ourselves. Self control involves strategies, insights, goals and motivation. You need to have a plan in place to ensure that you will be able to resist temptation to quit.
Next time you are battling with yourself on whether to eat that, drink that, say that, save that, or buy that…ask yourself what will be best for your future self. If you decide to wait and meet that goal you are going to feel stronger, happier, and more successful. Every time you exercise self control it will get a little bit easier and you will become more and more of a total badass who is ready to take on the world. Your strength will make any challenge seem manageable. You will become invincible.
Self control has been my focus for the past 2.5 years. It started in rehab for my alcohol addiction in 2012 and has been present everyday in my effort to shed my extra weight. I can say from experience that by exercising self control and thinking of my future self I not only have increased my personal success rate dramatically but have become a happier and healthier person.
Thanks to my self control I can say I like myself again. I did the work. I met my goals. No one can take that away from me. I feel stronger and stronger everyday and will not run away from a challenge. Self control is the secret to my success.
Make it the secret to yours.
The Motivational Track for this Vlog is “What You Waiting For” By Gwen Stefani.
For more information on the Marshmallow Challenge and to see my kids give it a try check out the video below.